Self-help

via Heeding Haiku #JusJoJan and Daily Prompt: Funnel

Time funnels the days,
compressing experience,
slowing at the end.

Sorry I wasn’t
more tolerant, younger self,
and kinder to you.

Myra Jean had been between a financial rock and a hard place in Baltimore, but now she regretted her move. The small town’s slow pace made the days excruciatingly long, and her evenings were haunted by indelible regrets. Sometimes, she would look through her old journals, surprised to find how few happy events she had recorded. Instead, most of the pages held self-criticism, resolutions, and self-help lists inspired by Samuel Smiles.  Her disapproval extended to everyone around her, making her friendships rare and short. Only her fiancé escaped her irony. Of course, she didn’t know him for very long. Before his death, life spread out like an endless banquet. His loss not only broke her heart, but it narrowed her options. Teaching lost its charm when it became her only means of support, but her daily routine pressed her forward until the days were compressed into a single, indistinguishable mass. Now the past lay on her, suffocating, and the years ahead seemed long and bleak. If time was a funnel, she must be in the narrow spout. The question was, where did it lead? Shaking off her dark mood, she picked up her library book, Laugh and Live, by Douglas Fairbanks.

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